


What We Meant (What We Said That Night)

by PartridgeOnAPearTree



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair, Bullying, M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-22 12:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8286214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PartridgeOnAPearTree/pseuds/PartridgeOnAPearTree
Summary: “Hinata-kun,” Hinata feels a soft and tentative tap on his arm, and he almost jolts at the suddenness. He immediately looks to see who it was, and he blinks repeatedly at the unfamiliar face that greeted him. He can’t believe it. This person—
This person is unrealistically attractive. So attractive Hinata felt like somebody launched him to a TV drama somewhere without his knowing. He has never ever in his entire life seen anyone with his hair color before—white like the clouds—and his eye color too that seems like a careful mix of green and gray.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Me: *has four difficult exams this week*  
> Me: *hasn't updated Transversal yet*  
> Me: What a splendid time to write the 10k+ first half of a different AU!! :D
> 
> (I'm so scared to post this... the last time I posted something around 9k+ to 10k+ people made fun of me. I'm trying to be braver now!)  
> (Titles are from the English lyrics of ONE OK ROCK's Heartache :D)

Komaeda’s smile was as bright as Hinata remembered.

 

“How much do you have to pay these performers?” Komaeda asks, a curious tilt of his head accompanying his question as he takes out his wallet from his pocket. “Splendid, indeed. I’ll pay them myself so that they can go home quicker. It’s getting late, after all.”

 

\--

 

“You know what's wrong with you, buddy?” Souda wouldn’t stop following Hinata around the whole day. Times like this make him wonder why he's friends with Souda in the first place. The other man has the tendency to be quite annoying, and despite being friends with him for years, Hinata can say that today must have been a personal record for Souda. “You're all work and no play! At school, you study and study, and you go home also to study and study! You're practically dating your books!”

 

“Yeah, it’s so sad that some of us have to try hard because not all of us are naturally talented at something, huh?” Hinata has been doing a good job keeping himself from saying something the whole day, but he supposes that he already has reached his limit with that remark. “Sorry I'm not like those who can sleep the whole day and still ace tomorrow’s mechanical projects, like people I know.”

 

“Whoa, wait, buddy,” Souda backs off, putting both of his hands in front of himself as if to say ‘time out’. “Okay, fine, I may be kinda out of line with what I said. But listen, what I'm asking from you is just a onetime thing! You can put out your phone now or something and record me saying this so that you can shove the recording to my face if ever I force you again after this. Really. I mean it.”

 

Hinata was still pissed, but he forces himself to calm down. “Why the hell do you want me to go to that party so badly? You know those aren’t my thing. Besides, you can just ask the others to go with you. I'm sure they’ll have a better time.”

 

“As I said, it’s because all you do is study! Because I'm a nice and caring soul friend, I want you to go out and have fun! Even just for one night!”

 

“If that’s really what you want you want to accomplish, then you're looking at the wrong place because I will _not_ have fun if I attend.”

 

“Dude, you know I love you and all, but you're such a killjoy, you know that? Just say yes already!”

 

“You know, I can’t help thinking that there's more to this than what you're saying.” Hinata furrows his eyebrows. “Why do you really want me to go so badly?”

 

Souda flinches and lets out a soft curse, and that’s all Hinata needs to see.

 

“H-Hahaaa, man, you're making me look so bad! You really think I'm the type of guy who’d hide something from you? Harsh! We’re soul friends! Soul friends don’t do that!”

 

“…I'm really going to go home now.”

 

“Dude, no!” Souda grabs his shoulder at this point. Hinata immediately pushes the hand off. “Come on, don’t be like this. Just help a pal out, yeah?”

 

“Okay, listen. I don’t even understand how going to the party is supposed to be me helping you out. And I’d continue to not understand if you don’t tell me the truth.”

 

Souda lets out a long sigh, almost as if he's the one being inconvenienced here. Hinata felt the need to roll his eyes. “I know you'll help me out because you're basically the coolest soul friend, coolest brother—”

 

“Just get to it already! If you keep this up, it’ll just piss me off even more.”

 

“Fine! Listen, I just,” Souda sighs again. “I just want you to meet someone.”

 

“There it was! I knew everything else was just bullshit!”

 

“Whoa, okay, first of all, it _is_ true that I do want you to live a little, and second—”

 

“Alright, alright, stop it. To save the both of us some time, I'm just going to say that I'm not going to meet anyone for you unless you give me a good reason why I should. And don’t lie.”

 

“Stop acting like I always lie!” Souda grumbles. “Anyway, you're a really patient and great guy who manages to get along with everyone—”

 

“As I said, just stop doing that. It’s unnecessary.”

 

“I know I look like I'm always spouting bullshit, but I mean it, man. That’s why I chose you. See, my beloved childhood friend is moving here this weekend, and he wants me to show him around. And because I'm a genius, I thought I should ask you to do that instead!”

 

“There are so many things wrong with what you said that I don’t even know where to start.”

 

“Hey, what's wrong with what I said!?”

 

“If he's such a beloved childhood friend, then you'd want to show him around yourself. Some friend you are.” Hinata pauses. “And I thought it was a night party?”

 

“Okay, it wasn’t a night party at all, I'm sorry. Anyway, I know you'll sympathize with my reason why I can’t go myself! Because,” Souda places his hands on his waist, as if proud. “I'm attending a group work this weekend!”

 

Suspicious. Hinata can’t help squinting a bit. “I thought I said that you shouldn’t lie?”

 

“No, it’s for real! I'm really attending a group work this weekend.” Souda flashes him a thumbs up. “And I plan to try my super duper mega best, so I really can’t show my friend around! But I'm sure you'll do it for me because you understand, and you're the best friend possible.”

 

“Wait, hold up, I don’t even buy this whole group work thing. Since when have you prioritized school over basically any excuse to get away?”

 

“Harsh! I'm a hardworking student!”

 

“Whatever you say.”

 

“Okay, fine, I'm going to explain. See, Sonia-san is in the group I was put in. And it’s, like, the first time that that ever happened this entire academic year even if I literally spend all my wishes and prayers hoping for it. And now the opportunity is here, I can’t possibly let it go. I need to impress her!” Souda started to look desperate. “I’ll just make it up to my friend some other time! Please, you're the only one I can trust to hang out with him, Hinata! I mean, sure, he gets really annoying sometimes, but he means well, ya know? The others won’t treat him well… Please go for me, soul friend.”

 

“Wow, I sure do hope you're not just saying that to convince me.”

 

“No, I mean it! Just ask him about me when you meet! I'm a really good pal, you'll see!”

 

“I still think it’s shitty that basically, the only reason why you're choosing the group work over your friend is because you want to impress someone.”

 

“Look, I'm sure he’ll understand. I’ll tell him myself that I can’t make it so that he won’t be too surprised at seeing some random guy show up. Anyway,” Souda pulls out his phone, and Hinata’s own vibrates in his pocket not too shortly. “I sent you his number just in case. I’ll send yours to him too.”

 

“You're acting like I already said yes.”

 

“I'm sure you will! Will you really let a friend of your soul friend wander aimlessly in a new city? I know you're not that heartless!” Souda clears his throat and straightens himself. “Also, more seriously… my friend is just fresh from a breakup. Please don’t be too much of a dick to him.”

 

“You're just not gonna take no for an answer anymore, are you?” Hinata sighs and lightly scratches the back of his head. “Fine, you can count on me. I’ll make sure he has a great time.”

 

“Aww, man! I could just hug you right now!” Souda grins quite widely, as if the sole purpose of his action was to show off his teeth. “Don’t do anything funny, okay!”

 

“Shut up, I won’t!”

 

\--

 

Friday night, Hinata decides that maybe he should send Souda’s friend a short greeting at least. Souda did mention that his friend was already informed, but it just doesn’t sit with Hinata well that their first conversation will really be on the day itself. That’s just like intentionally asking for an awkward time.

 

The thing is, though, he isn’t even sure what to send.

 

‘ _Hi, my name is Hinata Hajime._ ’ He starts. Not a bad opening, maybe. ‘ _I'm Souda’s friend. I think we’re supposed to meet tomorrow? I just thought I should let you know that you can reach me with this number._ ’ Even if Souda’s friend most probably already knows.

 

Hinata didn’t even have the time to wallow in anxiety for the possible stupidity of his message because the reply comes in almost as soon as he pressed ‘sent’. ‘ _Hello, Hinata-kun! Nice to meet you. I'm Komaeda Nagito. I'm so sorry that you had to deal with this situation. If ever it happens that you have something to do tomorrow, I won’t mind if you'll have to ditch early. I can just pester Souda-kun some other time. :)_ ’

 

That actually sounds nice, but Hinata already promised Souda that he’d, as he worded it, ‘make sure he has a great time.’ That, and Hinata has already conditioned his mind that that’s what he’ll do tomorrow, so he types, ‘ _Nah, it’s okay. I'm really free tomorrow. What time will you arrive?_ ’

 

‘ _You're too nice! I can’t believe you're doing this for a complete stranger. :)_

_Anyway, I expect to be in the area by 11:30 AM. Is that okay?_ ’

 

‘ _Souda said you're a dear friend to him, so I won’t mind helping you out._

_Yes, it’s okay. I'm free the whole day, don’t worry._ ’

 

‘ _Thank you, really! I'm happy to know that Souda-kun seems to have befriended great people. I hope my presence doesn’t bore you too much. I’ll do my best so you'll have a great time!_ ’

 

‘ _I should be the one thinking of making sure you have a great time, you know. Don’t sweat it. That’s my job. :)_ ’

 

‘ _Haha, okay then! I’ll be counting on you :)_ ’

 

Looks like Hinata really has to try his best. The guy doesn’t seem unpleasant anyway. He sets his alarm and locks his phone.

 

He hopes tomorrow ends up well.

 

\--

 

‘ _Hey, it just occurred to me that I don’t know what you look like. As for me, I'm brown-haired, kinda tan, with green eyes, and I'm currently wearing a white shirt. I'm also carrying a box of kusamochi so that you'd be sure it’s me._ ’

 

‘ _Hahaha, thanks for the description, I’ll be there soon! I’ll just randomly stand beside you and call you ‘Hinata-kun’. I wonder if you'll realize that it’s me._ ’

 

‘ _I sure do hope it’s you. It’s gonna be creepy if someone else does that._ ’

 

‘ _Implying that it won’t be creepy if I do it, haha!_ ’

 

‘ _I mean, at least you have a reason why you know my name. If it’s someone I really don’t know, that’s gonna be a different business._ ’

 

‘ _You have a stalker, Hinata-kun?_ ’

 

‘ _I don’t think so. Why?_ ’

 

‘ _That’s good for you! Stalkers are really creepy. Someone once made a copy of my house’s key, and he broke in to check my phone when I was asleep. He was going through my call history and messages. Luckily, I woke up while he was still there, but still, it was really creepy!_ ’

 

‘ _Wait, what? Are you serious? What happened afterwards?_ ’

 

‘ _Haha, no! That was just from this creepy blog that I like reading! Hinata-kun, you're so funny!_ ’

 

‘ _You shouldn’t joke about things like that._ ’

 

‘ _I'm sorry, haha!_

_Well, to be fair, I really did have a creepy experience, though it wasn’t that extreme. Would you like to hear about it?_ ’

 

‘ _Okay, sure. What happened?_ ’

 

‘ _There was once this guy who kept on texting me nonstop. He texted me at least thrice every five minutes! The thing is we only talked exactly once in real life, so I was really surprised at his behavior when he got my number. Actually, up until now, I don’t even know how he got my number now that I think about it! Then he asked me out and got mad when I continued to not reply, to the point that he showed up in my room. So creepy!_ ’

 

‘ _Are you really serious now!? What did you do?_ ’

 

‘ _Well, I just screamed and called the cops! Then he ran away after that. Easier than I thought._ ’

 

‘ _I hope you're just messing with me…_ ’

 

‘ _Hahaha, you got me! Now that one was from that popular thread in 2ch. Anyway, I think I see you already. You're standing near three vending machines?_ ’

 

Hinata immediately looks up from his phone. He only realizes then that the sheer busyness of the place didn’t really register to him because he was too preoccupied with texting Komaeda. A lot of people are moving around, obviously in a hurry, and he doesn’t know which one he's supposed to meet at all.

 

‘ _Yeah, that’s me. What do you look like?_ ’

 

“Hinata-kun,” Hinata feels a soft and tentative tap on his arm, and he almost jolts at the suddenness. He immediately looks to see who it was, and he blinks repeatedly at the unfamiliar face that greeted him. He can’t believe it. This person—

 

“…I take it you're Komaeda?”

 

“That’s me!” Komaeda lets out a chuckle. “Nice to meet you once again!”

 

This person is unrealistically attractive. So attractive Hinata felt like somebody launched him to a TV drama somewhere without his knowing. He has never ever in his entire life seen anyone with Komaeda’s hair color before—white like the clouds—and his eye color too that seems like a careful mix of green and gray.

 

He suddenly felt so self-conscious, as if he already doesn’t feel that way every day.

 

“I know I already said it, but I'm really sorry for having to bother you today.” Komaeda’s smile immediately turns sheepish. “If ever you want to change your mind now, it’s okay.”

 

“Not at all… I did say I'm free today, right?” Hinata decides to smile. Souda always tells him that he scowls too much. “Do you have bags with you? I can help you carry them since I don’t have anything heavy with me anyway.”

 

“Ah,” Komaeda shakes both of his hands in front of himself. “I hired someone who'll put my stuff in my house, but it’s nice of you to offer, Hinata-kun. I meant to just see the city today, so I took care of that beforehand.”

 

“Oh, okay.” He's feeling so self-conscious it’s actually ridiculous. “Do you like kusamochi? I bought a box for the both of us.”

 

“What a nice gesture.” Komaeda smiles. “Then let’s eat later when we sit down.”

 

“Alright.” The two of them started walking after that. Hinata isn’t really sure what they're supposed to be doing now. Of course, he didn’t go here without any kind of plan at all—it’s just not in his nature to be careless and half-assed about anything—but now that the situation is here for him to confront, he's starting to wonder if the things he planned are good, after all.

 

Maybe he should continue trying to converse with Komaeda so that they won’t be too awkward this whole day. Maybe he should offer to have lunch first so that the two of them won’t be interrupted by the wish to eat during this so-called tour. Maybe he should ask Komaeda what his interests are so that he’d know where to take Komaeda first.

 

This is getting increasingly difficult…

 

As if on cue, his phone vibrates.

 

‘ _You with Komaeda yet? Tell him to have fun without me! I'm working hard like a good student!_ ’

 

“Ah, Souda texted me.” Hinata waves his phone at Komaeda. “He says you should have fun today and that he's working hard right now. Anything you want me to say to him?”

 

Komaeda lets out a short laugh. “Tell him to do his best and that I hope to see him soon.”

 

“Okay.” Hinata types what Komaeda said before returning his phone to his pocket. The truth is he really wants to send a couple more things to Souda right now, but he doesn’t want to be rude by fiddling with his phone instead of socializing with the person he's with.

 

First, he would have wanted to say ‘ _Why didn’t you tell me that your friend was this beautiful?_ ’

 

Second would be ‘ _If you let me know, I would have made myself more presentable. I feel like shit walking next to a person who looks like this._ ’

 

Third would be ‘ _I don’t understand why anyone would want to break up with him. He seems so pleasant and also good-looking… unless he was the one who broke it off?_ ’

 

“Anyway,” Hinata smiles at Komaeda again, deciding to shake off from his mind his currently-can’t-be-sent messages to Souda. “Is there anything specific you'd like to start with today?”

 

Good thinking. Hinata gives himself a mental pat on the back. Transfer the decision to Komaeda since he's supposed to be the main focus of this day.

 

“Let’s see…” Komaeda lightly rubs his chin with his thumb. “Only if it’s okay, I’d like to drop by a near bookstore before everything else.”

 

“Of course it’s okay. Just tell me if you come up with anything you'd like to do.”

 

“Thank you, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda smiles, nodding. “So… do you like reading?”

 

“Kinda. I'm not too passionate about it, but I do have fun when I do. How about you?”

 

“Ah. Reading is my favorite pastime. There's just something about it that really relaxes me each time. Haha, maybe it’s the thought of being transported elsewhere despite not really leaving your place. It’s amazing to think about.”

 

“Yeah, it does sound awesome when you put it that way. I really should read for leisure more.”

 

“Oh. You don’t read for leisure often, Hinata-kun?”

 

“I'm usually reading stuff for school. Boring stuff. Though I’d be lying if I say I never enjoy myself when I read those books.”

 

“Well, that’s admirable, you know. Some people really can’t derive satisfaction from reading their textbooks.” Komaeda chuckles. “It’s great that you can still have fun while studying, Hinata-kun. Results tend to be better that way.”

 

“That’s true. Sometimes, we get assigned readings in Literature class though, so I get the time to read fiction books. The last one I read is The Little Prince, I think.”

 

“Oh! I've read that!” Komaeda nods again, his smile widening. “What is essential is invisible to the eye.”

 

“And you are responsible forever for what you have tamed.” Hinata replies. “I like the thought that it’s trying to convey. That you can have many others like you, but you'll still be special to one person, I mean. Because the two of you have bonded and all.”

 

“That does sound great. Especially since I'm someone who's so painfully unremarkable I don’t stand out at all, haha!”

 

Hinata immediately furrowed his eyebrows. Did he hear that right just now? If Komaeda is unremarkable, then Hinata might as well be nothing but a whiff of air! “Don’t say that about yourself… I don’t know if it would mean anything to you, but to be honest, I don’t think you're unremarkable at all.”

 

“Haha, thank you! What a nice person.”

 

“And I'm not just saying that to be nice, you know.” You might be the most attractive person that I have seen in a long while… is what Hinata would like to add, but he doesn’t want to make this experience uncomfortable for the both of them.

 

“Hahaha, anyway,” Komaeda just chuckles. “How did you meet Souda-kun?”

 

“Oh. Well,” Hinata wonders if that abrupt topic change is a good or bad thing. “We’re schoolmates. He mentioned that you guys are childhood friends?”

 

“That’s right. It really has been a while since we last saw each other, but we still talk often. It’s too good to be true that I managed to keep a friend that I had ever since childhood.”

 

“Pretty sure Souda is thinking the same. Especially since you seem like a chill guy.”

 

“Haha, thank you!”

 

Komaeda looks like he's not really taking the compliments he hears seriously. Hinata knows that it’s weird since the two of them just met, but he finds that oddly sad. He wonders exactly why Komaeda seems to think lowly of himself.

 

“So where did you come from originally?” Hinata decides to ask. “Is there a reason why you moved here? If it’s okay to ask?”

 

“Pretty far from here. Have you ever been to Mount Fuji? I'm somewhere on the way. And I moved here because…” Komaeda hums. “I just wanted a change in scenery, that’s all.”

 

“Ah, I see.” Hinata feels that he shouldn’t pry. “Well, I hope you like it here.”

 

“I hope so too! Things are looking great already anyway, so I'm confident I will. Have you always been here, Hinata-kun?”

 

“Yeah, I've been here all my life. Maybe someday I’ll leave and find another place in this country. I’ve always been getting ready for that. I can leave anytime I wish, though I’ll probably have a difficult time adjusting.”

 

“That’s a good thought! If ever you want to visit a place that I'm familiar with, maybe then I can return the favor and be the one to show you around.”

 

“That’s a good idea.” Hinata laughs. “I’ll hold on to that.”

 

\--

 

When Hinata found the opportunity, he sent Souda the things that he wanted to say earlier. Souda replied right away that Hinata actually started to doubt if Souda really is working as hard as he's making it out to be… Seems doubtful.

 

‘ _I thought I told you not to try anything weird? I mean, you're a decent guy and all, but as you already know, he's fresh from a breakup. Because you're my soul friend, I can tell you that it wasn’t he who broke it off, but if you want the rest of the details, you're gonna have to ask him._ ’

 

‘ _I haven’t done anything ‘weird’. All I did was ask you why you didn’t tell me that he was this cute because his whole face is seriously making me feel that I look like a poorly-drawn cardboard cutout._ ’

 

Komaeda was in the middle of pouring a bit of hot sauce to the pizza slices that they ordered when he suddenly paused, looking at Hinata as if horrified.

 

“What's wrong?” Hinata immediately pockets his phone. He's starting to irrationally think that Komaeda magically found out that Hinata’s basically telling Souda repeatedly that he's ridiculously good-looking and is now creeped out.

 

“No, I just,” Komaeda airily chuckles. “Sorry, I almost put some hot sauce on your slices without asking! I used to always hang out with someone who loves hot sauce on pizza, so… it felt instinctive to me. I'm happy I caught myself on time. I'm sorry, Hinata-kun.”

 

“No, it’s okay. Don’t sweat it.” Hinata takes the plate on which his slices were placed. “Thank you.”

 

Komaeda just sheepishly chuckles before taking a bite from the pizza slice in his hand. He looks almost wistful even just by doing this mundane activity, probably due to his vacant stare at the table. Hinata has a good guess of the reason for this sudden mood change, but he isn’t really sure how to approach this…

 

“Is something the matter?” So Hinata asks with that classic.

 

Komaeda looked slightly surprised, but that expression was gone as soon as it arrived. On its stead stood one of his cheerful smiles as he shook his head, continuing to chew his food. “Everything’s okay! I'm just thinking about how good this pizza tastes. Do you usually eat pizza, Hinata-kun?”

 

“Yeah. I really like it. You?”

 

“Yeah… with a bit of hot sauce too…” His expression started to look vacant again.

 

Hinata really wants to prod more, but he isn’t even supposed to know about the breakup. Half of him wishes that Souda just never told him so that if ever he is meant to find out today, at least he found out because Komaeda himself brought it up.

 

“What other food do you like?” Hinata decides to shift the conversation away from pizzas because they seem to remind Komaeda of unpleasant things. “As for me, I really like kusamochi. Though that’s probably obvious to you by now.”

 

“Haha, yeah! So I'm really flattered that you shared some with me. Thank you so much!” Komaeda smiles. “Well, I like biscuits and viva ice. Whenever I buy viva ice, I get lucky, so I always have an extra one… it’s good if you always have someone with you so that you can share it with them...”

 

Seems like that’s the wrong question too. Hinata wonders if he can initiate another topic change that won’t be awkward. “That’s great. Right, what kind of biscuits do you like?”

 

“Homemade ones.” Komaeda shows him a small smile. “They taste even better when someone bakes them just for you.”

 

Wrong again. Hinata’s feeling really stumped now. “Oh, I just remembered. What's your favorite drink?”

 

“Ah.” Komaeda’s face lights up a bit. “I like Blue Ram. It really relaxes me.”

 

“Good.” Hinata smiles. That question seems to not trigger any unpleasant memories. “I’ll treat you to some once we pass by a vending machine later.”

 

“Oh, haha, you don’t have to, Hinata-kun! If anything, I should be the one treating you as thanks for today. Besides, as I said, I usually get lucky, so I'm pretty sure I’ll get more than one can later… Haha, this good luck of mine really makes sharing easier...”

 

Oh, no. “I insist. I’ll treat you instead. You seem used to treating whoever your company is, so I want us to be different, Komaeda.”

 

“…Oh.”

 

It was great until Hinata realized what he said. He couldn’t stop the heat from creeping into his face. God, now he really sounded like he was flirting when that wasn’t his intention at all. On the bright side, Komaeda looks more surprised than offended, but the words Hinata said seemed to be replaying repeatedly in the background.

 

He really just had to choose that wording. He would bang his head on the wall right now if only doing so wouldn’t make him look stupid.

 

“I mean, um, I don’t mean anything weird by that. Sorry.” Saying that just made this feel even weirder. “Shit, did I make you feel uncomfortable?”

 

“No, I'm just surprised…” Komaeda shows him another small smile. “Because you're too nice. I'm not used to it.”

 

The last time Hinata felt protective over something was the time when he was younger and his mother joked that she’d eat everything in his box of kusamochi. He didn’t really expect that he’ll be feeling that sensation again now.

 

“How come? You're surrounded by assholes?”

 

“Haha, no, that’s not it! It’s not their fault at all.” Komaeda chuckles. “I'm just really unlikeable, see? You don’t know yet because we only just met, but if you get to know me better, you'll know how annoying I really am, Hinata-kun.”

 

“Really now? I can put up with Souda. Is there really someone in this world who can be more annoying than him?”

 

The laughter that Komaeda let out then was a sound that Hinata wouldn’t mind hearing again and again. “Hinata-kun, that’s mean!”

 

“What, it’s true.” Hinata can’t help but smile a bit himself. “So don’t worry. I think we’ll be good.”

 

“I hope so too. You seem like a nice person... It would be an honor to be friends with you, Hinata-kun.”

 

“Consider it done.”

 

\--

 

That was how Hinata met Komaeda.

 

\--

 

Maybe it’s because of their good start. Maybe it’s because of the protective feeling that Hinata felt for him. Maybe it’s because of the instantaneous and undeniable infatuation that Hinata had upon seeing him. Maybe it’s because he's so pleasing both to look at and as a companion.

 

Maybe it’s something else entirely.

 

But whatever the reason is, Hinata getting along with Komaeda ended up progressing naturally.

 

Hinata was laughing at a goofy selfie Komaeda sent him when Souda appeared beside him, peeking at his phone out of nowhere. Hinata immediately locks his phone and pulls it closer to him, furrowing his eyebrows at Souda. “Personal space, Souda. What the hell?”

 

“Real talk, Hinata.” This might be the most serious tone he has heard from Souda his entire life. “Do you like Komaeda?”

 

“What the—where did this come from? I'm just making friends!”

 

“There, there, no need to get so defensive. It’s okay that you like him, but have you asked him what happened with his ex yet? Do you already officially ‘know’ he had a breakup?”

 

“Not yet… I mean, yes, we are getting along well, but we’re just new friends. I don’t really know how to approach that topic.”

 

“Yeah, just go ask him. So that you'd know what to do and not what to do.”

 

“Why don’t you just tell me?”

 

“Because I'm not a dick? I mean, I know I look like one, but I'm not.” Souda purses his lips. “Anyway, just go ask. Alright?”

 

“No promises.”

 

\--

 

“Hachiko, Hachiko…” Komaeda murmurs under his breath as he stares at the statue of the famous dog in front of him. “Right, Hinata-kun, have I ever told you I used to have a dog?”

 

“No. Where is it now?” Hinata looks at the statue too as though he would be able to find the answer there.

 

“Oh, it died when I was younger. A very despair-inducing incident… it got hit by a truck. It didn’t deserve something like that to happen to it.” Komaeda sighs. “If you're watching me right now, I hope you're happy with Hachiko and all the other dogs in heaven… assuming heaven exists.”

 

“Do you want to have a dog again?”

 

“I do. I really do. But I'm afraid something will just happen to it again. I can’t help but feel that it was my fault why my dog died in the first place, so…” Komaeda bites his lower lip. “If you can hear me, I hope you know that I'm asking for your forgiveness.”

 

“It’s kinda weird that you're using Hachiko’s statue as some kind of a tombstone for your dog, you know…”

 

“Ah.” Komaeda looks like he just realized that that was what he was doing. “Hahaha, my goodness, you're right! This is so embarrassing… Hinata-kun, let’s pretend that that didn’t happen.”

 

“It’s not really embarrassing, but alright, it’s our secret.”

 

\--

 

“Have you asked—”

 

“No.” Hinata immediately replies. Souda hasn’t finished the sentence yet, but Hinata already knows what he's going to say. “He's always smiling when we’re together, and I don’t want to ruin that.”

 

“Dude, just ask. It’s not that difficult.”

 

“’Hey, did you know Souda told me you had an ex? I want details.’” Hinata raises his eyebrows. “Is that good?”

 

“No! Don’t do it like that! He shouldn’t know that I told you!”

 

“Thought so. So don’t rush me.”

 

“Rush? It’s been almost a month since you’ve known each other, and you guys hang out almost every day!”

 

“I’ll do it with my own pace. Alright? Don’t freak out.”

 

\--

 

“Two bowls of kimchi, and—” Komaeda interrupts himself and immediately glances at Hinata. “…Haha, I'm sorry, I did it again. Do you even like kimchi? I almost ordered one for you.”

 

This might be the opening that Hinata was waiting for. Except there's a waiter with them, and the smoky environment of this yakiniku restaurant isn’t doing nice things to Hinata’s eyes. Their table’s grill isn’t even lit up yet, and he's already feeling uncomfortable.

 

“Thank you. I don’t really want to have kimchi right now.” Hinata says. Even if he actually likes kimchi a bit. From day one, he felt the need to separate himself from whatever kind of person Komaeda keeps on remembering. That means no kimchi for now, sadly.

 

“I'm sorry again.” Komaeda repeats when the waiter leaves the two of them alone. “I’ve been here for more than a month, but some of my old habits are still stuck with me, it seems.”

 

This is it. Pursue this line of thought instead of deviating from it like the other times before this. “Did you hang out with someone who liked kimchi?”

 

“Ah.” There was a hint of sadness from Komaeda’s smile then, and Hinata remembers why he was avoiding this conversation in the first place. “Yes, that’s right. I used to hang out with someone who liked kimchi.”

 

“You guys still in touch?”

 

Komaeda shakes his head. “Unfortunately, no.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“Haha, he didn’t really want to hang out with me in the first place. It was just a bet he had with his friends. To see how easy… to get attached I am, apparently. I'm always alone, so I'm a good target to make fun of.” Komaeda idly fiddles with the chopsticks on the table. “Hinata-kun, do you think lonely people get attached easily?”

 

The protectiveness that he felt that day is now back, only, coupled with a feeling of anger. A bet? Someone still does that kind of bet? He doesn’t even know those people personally, but he hates them already. His anger preoccupied him that he almost forgot that a question already was thrown his way.

 

“Oh, well… yeah. Yeah, I think I do.” Hinata wonders if it’s okay to add, but he does anyway. “I think… I think I got attached to you pretty quickly.”

 

“Are you lonely, Hinata-kun?”

 

“No.” That was his immediate response. “I don’t know.” That was his response as he thought about this deeper. “I'm not sure… I have a lot of friends, and I think I'm really lucky to have them all. But sometimes, when I look at them, I just feel like I don’t really belong. They're all good at something, and I'm just… me.”

 

Komaeda tilts his head. “What's wrong with ‘you’?”

 

“Can’t you tell by looking? I have no remarkable qualities, and there's nothing I can do excellently. All abilities that I have are mediocre at best.”

 

“…What is essential is invisible to the eye.” Komaeda smiles a bit, his hand reaching out to rest on Hinata’s chest. “I think Hinata-kun has a kind heart. That’s what makes you remarkable.”

 

“Did you tame me?” Hinata dares to place his hand on Komaeda’s. “That even if there are probably a million others like me, you think I'm remarkable?”

 

“That’s right.” Komaeda chuckles. “I have established ties with you, but not with them. That’s what it means to tame someone according to The Little Prince, right?”

 

“Yeah.” Hinata gently puts Komaeda’s hand off his chest, and he intertwines their fingers afterwards. “…Is this okay?”

 

“I trust you.” Komaeda shows him a small smile, accompanied with a hint of pink on his cheeks. “…You didn’t just have a bet with Souda-kun, did you?”

 

“Of course not. We won’t do that to you.” He runs his thumb on the back of Komaeda’s hand. “I won’t do that to you.”

 

“I trust you.” Komaeda repeats. “So I’ll tell you what happened with that person.”

 

“I'm all ears.”

 

“He was really cheerful and sweet. He's actually really popular too because of that, and he's friends with everyone. So I never would have guessed that he’d do something like that, haha! Must be my fault because I trusted too much the things I could see. Even if all along, my gut feeling is telling me that something feels wrong.” Hinata was surprised when he feels Komaeda run his own thumb on the back of Hinata’s hand too. “I have always admired him because he seems to give hope to everyone he talks with. Even just his mere smile can do wonders already! So when he talked to me out of the blue, asking if it’s okay for him to share a table with me, of course I was ecstatic. It was an honor far too big for someone like me to even share oxygen with someone whose effect to everyone else is filled with so much hope.”

 

Hinata nods to show that he's listening.

 

“He started hanging out with me every day, giving me a compliment each day. Things like ‘ _you really have good taste_ ’ when he saw the books I was reading and ‘ _you're enjoyable company_ ’. I don’t really have a lot of friends, so I was happy that someone was treating me well.” Komaeda lets out a chuckle. “I didn’t know that I was lonely until he came!”

 

“I got so attached to him so easily and so quickly. Probably because I didn’t really have anyone else aside from him. I found myself looking forward to talking to him and hanging out with him—haha, I'm pretty sure that back then, even just seeing him made me happy! So when I realized that I'm already starting to like him, I didn’t even try to stop it at all. Because I thought it was just right and natural for someone like me to admire someone so great. I never ever would have thought that one day, he’d ask me out. I was so happy when he did, of course! So happy I thought I was going to burst! Too bad I didn’t know that it was all just a game to him, haha. Mmm, I feel so stupid now that I'm saying it out loud. You must think I'm stupid too, Hinata-kun.”

 

“No… that’s wrong.” It really is wrong. All Hinata could feel was anger towards that person who had the audacity to do something like that, towards his friends who encouraged this kind of behavior. “You're not stupid. If there's anyone who's stupid, it’s him and his friends. You didn’t deserve that to happen to you.”

 

“Hahaha, except maybe I did deserve it! If I weren’t so stupid, it wouldn’t have happened, right? I basically asked for it, drinking up all the compliments he told me when I know better than anyone that I will never ever be deserving of any kind of compliment. Anyway—”

 

Komaeda looked like he still had something to say, but the waiter already arrived with their food. The yakiniku were placed on their table’s now-working grill, and the distracting smoke was instantaneous. Hinata didn’t realize right away that Komaeda’s soft hand already left his.

 

“Not the ideal setting to be having this conversation, huh?” Komaeda softly laughs. “My house is pretty near here. After this, would you like to come with me?”

 

\--

 

Komaeda’s house was too big for one person. Hinata wonders if his family already owned the place even way before and that’s why he moved here, or if his family bought this for him because he wanted to move. Either way, Komaeda must come from an affluent family.

 

“Make yourself at home, Hinata-kun. You may sit wherever you want.” Komaeda gestures to the two couches in his living room. He really had a lot of seating spaces for someone who lived alone. “And I know we just came from a restaurant, but would you like anything?”

 

“No, I'm okay.” Hinata decides to take the offer and sits down. The couch he chose was as comfortable as it looked. “You should just sit down too. Don’t worry about me. I promise I’ll tell you if there's something that I need.”

 

“Alright then, please do.” Komaeda smiles and sits down beside him. Komaeda’s warmth and the feeling of his soft jacket against him both were very comforting. Right now, Hinata feels like he was meant to be in this position. “I'm sorry if you had something to do tonight. School work, maybe?”

 

“No, don’t think about that. Right now, what's more important is you.” Hinata looks at him. “I want to know more about you. I want to listen to what you had to say.”

 

“Alright.” Komaeda nods. “Hinata-kun, you're too kind to be taking so much of your time for this.”

 

“It’s not kindness because I'm just pursuing what I want, right?” He takes Komaeda’s hand in his again just like he did earlier. “I want to know you more. That’s why I'm listening. What I'm doing isn’t kindness at all because it’s just self-seeking. If anything, I'm just being selfish because I'm not even asking you if you want to continue talking, right?”

 

“Hinata-kun, you really have a way to vilify even such a pure intention of yours, haha.” Komaeda smiles a bit as he tightens his hold on Hinata’s hand. “I know it’s kindness. Just you expressing interest in me—I look at that as kindness. You can be doing other things right now, much more important things with your valuable time, yet you're choosing to spend it with me. Because you want to know me more. I think that’s kindness… so of course, I wouldn’t mind talking. But in return, I want to know you more too, Hinata-kun.”

 

“I’ll tell you everything you want to know.”

 

“Thank you.” Komaeda giggles. “But anyway, I should continue my story. I wouldn’t want to keep you waiting for too long. Where was I again?”

 

“He asked you out.”

 

“Oh, right. Right, he did. He asked me out, and of course, being the infatuated fool I was, I was overjoyed. Naturally, I said yes. With just that, I already helped him win half the bet.” Komaeda hums. “I wonder how big the wager was. Was he as happy as I was that moment? I guess I’ll never know. But oh, well, I can’t believe that he managed to stay for a year and a half with someone he doesn’t even like. I can’t even begin to imagine how torturous it must have been for him to be with me all that time.”

 

“…Don’t say that about yourself.” He holds Komaeda’s hand with both of his hands. “I wasn’t there, but I could tell that you must have done everything you can to make him happy. I know that you must have been the best lover possible. I'm just sure of it.”

 

“Hahaha, well…” Komaeda’s eyes look sad again. Even with the smile on his face, Hinata still can’t help but notice. “…I can’t deny that. I really did everything. But I suppose that wasn’t enough because even if he didn’t like me at first, even if it started being nothing but pretend, if I was good enough, he would have started liking me for real halfway, right? Or is it mere impertinence to think that?”

 

“I don’t think it’s impertinence. I mean, I don’t understand what he didn’t like about you. Suppose I was an asshole like him, I'm sure I would regret my actions somewhere along the line because I’ll fall for you for real as time went by.”

 

“Will Hinata-kun really fall for me if we were in that situation?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Will Hinata-kun fall for me now?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Even if I still always remember that person?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Even if I usually just get sad so suddenly because of what I remembered?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Even if I already gave my first time to him?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Even if I get attached so easily it’s laughable?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Does Hinata-kun like me right now?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Does Hinata-kun want to go out with me?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Komaeda immediately buries his face on Hinata’s chest. Hinata threads his fingers through Komaeda’s hair, and he wraps his free arm around Komaeda. He doesn’t know if he's being effectively comforting, but that’s his goal. He can only hope it’s working.

 

“…I like you too. I want to go out with you too. You treat me so well… and my gut feeling is actually telling me that you're genuine with your kindness. But as I said, I still always remember him, and thinking about him still affects me.” Komaeda snuggles closer to him. “I don’t want you to feel like I'm just using you as a replacement for him… especially since the two of you are so, so different.”

 

“I'm willing to stay with you and do everything I can to help you get over him, whether we date or not.” Hinata embraces him with both of his arms this time. The protective feeling that he always feels for Komaeda is stronger now than ever before. “You only deserve good things to come your way. So if there's anything I can do to help you become happier, then I’ll do it.”

 

“…He won the bet when I slept with him.” Komaeda lightly pulls away, and his eyes seem to be searching Hinata’s when they make eye contact that time. “Say… If you sleep with me now, Hinata-kun, will you still be there the next day and the days after?”

 

“Yes. Of course.”

 

Komaeda slowly straddles him after that, placing two hesitant hands on the sides of his face. Hinata keeps his arms around Komaeda as a way to wordlessly tell him that this is okay, that there is nothing to be worried about.

 

Komaeda inches closer, their foreheads meeting, and for a while, that was all they did—basking in each other’s warmth and presence. Komaeda tilts his head a bit and their lips met, and for Hinata, his lips might be the softest ones in existence.

 

“…I trust you, Hinata-kun.”

 

\--

 

Hinata woke up to the feeling of Komaeda’s body inside his arms. Komaeda’s skin was so warm, and Hinata couldn’t stop himself from snuggling to him closer. The feeling of Komaeda’s hair against his skin was ticklish, but he wouldn’t dare move away because of that. Right now, this is the only place that would feel right for him to be.

 

He plants a soft kiss on the back of Komaeda’s head as he inches closer.

 

He wants to make more memories together so that Komaeda could replace those dreadful ones with happy things.

 

His line of thought gets interrupted when Komaeda shifts a bit, causing Hinata to loosen his embrace. Komaeda slowly turns around to face him, a groggy look on his eyes as he smiles a bit. “…Hinata-kun. You're really still here.”

 

“Of course.” Hinata smiles back and lifts his hand to thread his fingers through Komaeda’s hair. “I did say I’ll stay, right?”

 

“You did.” Komaeda giggles as a light blush finds its way to his cheeks. “Forgive me. I'm just too happy right now.”

 

“I'm happy too.” Hinata presses his lips against Komaeda’s forehead. “…I really like it when you smile. And I really love listening to your voice.”

 

“I think I’ll be smiling more from now on. And talking to you more, of course!” He feels Komaeda’s arm wrapping around him. “Thank you, Hinata-kun.”

 

“It’s my pleasure.”

 

\--

 

“This coffee shop is nice, isn’t it?” Komaeda smiles as he sips through the straw. “Ah, it tastes really good. The perfect blend of sweetness and bitterness fighting to see which taste will achieve victory in the end! Just like hope and despair!”

 

Hinata feels like he could just stare at Komaeda forever when he has a smile like this. “You did say hope will always win in the end though, right? Does that mean that coffee will always be sweet?”

 

“Hahaha, you're funny, Hinata-kun! Of course not! That’s what makes the battle of hope and despair different from the battle of sweetness and bitterness in coffee. Hope will always win, no matter what!”

 

“So do you prefer sweet coffee or bitter coffee?”

 

“Of course I like it when the taste of sweetness and bitterness blend well like this,” Komaeda gestures to his cup. “But if I really have to choose, I’d say I prefer bitter coffee.”

 

“Really? I didn’t expect that.”

 

“Haha, yeah. He said that too. He really loves sweet coffee, and he thought that I do too because, as he put it, I look ‘so sweet’. Well, of course, we won’t really know now if he meant that. But anyway,” Komaeda lets out a chuckle. “How about you, Hinata-kun?”

 

“I don’t like anything too sweet.” Hinata replies. “So I guess I prefer bitter coffee too.”

 

Komaeda’s face lights up. “We really are similar, aren’t we?”

 

\--

 

“Hinata.”

 

Hinata was smiling at a text that Komaeda sent him when Souda suddenly appeared beside him again. This situation is starting to feel familiar…

 

Just like the last time, he immediately locks his phone and holds it closer to himself as he replies, “What now? Didn’t I tell you to remember ‘personal space’ back then?”

 

“Whatever. Are you dating Komaeda?”

 

“I don’t know. I think so. I'm not sure. Why are you asking?”

 

“What the hell do you mean ‘you're not sure’? It’s been almost a year! I swear to god, if you're just playing with him like his ex—”

 

“Whoa, wait! Is that how you look at me? Of course I'm not just there for him to make fun of him!”

 

“Then why aren’t you sure?”

 

“Um… I don’t think he's ready to date yet. I don’t want to rush him or accidentally pressure him by asking.”

 

“Okay.” Souda suddenly grins. “I was just messing with you, man! Of course I trust you! I know you're not a piece of shit! Take care of him, yeah? The best soul friend ever gives you his blessing!”

 

“Yeah, you can count on me. Don’t worry.”

 

\--

 

_I like you too. I want to go out with you too. You treat me so well… and my gut feeling is actually telling me that you're genuine with your kindness. But as I said, I still always remember him, and thinking about him still affects me._

 

That’s what's making this so ambiguous for Hinata. That’s why he doesn’t really know if they're dating or not. After all, ever since that day, they’ve always been together even more so than when they were starting to get along. But then again, he did say too that he’d stay with Komaeda whether or not they date so maybe it doesn’t really matter.

 

Who's he kidding, of course it matters. Hinata has always had an affinity for certainty.

 

But the thing is he doesn’t really know how to bring it up. He doesn’t really mind whichever answer—he just really wants to know. But he's worried that if he asks, Komaeda might be forced to say yes even if he doesn’t want to. And of course, if there's something that Hinata doesn’t want to happen, it’s for Komaeda to do something that will make him uncomfortable.

 

“Hinata-kun,” Komaeda presses a can of cold coffee against his cheek. “I got you coffee from the vending machine. Is everything alright? You seem to be really deep in thought.”

 

He liked the feeling of the cold can pressing against cheek, albeit sudden was the sensation. He gently takes it from Komaeda’s hand, murmuring a soft ‘thanks’. “May I kiss you?”

 

“Oh.” Komaeda lightly blushes as he smiles, sitting beside Hinata. “You didn’t have to ask.”

 

“I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.” Hinata inches closer and plants a soft peck on Komaeda’s lips. “Thank you.”

 

“No problem, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda pecks back. “Is there anything wrong?”

 

“It’s nothing.” Hinata plants another kiss. “It’s an honor that you're letting me do this.”

 

Komaeda returns the gesture. “I should be the one saying that, you know.”

 

Another kiss. “I have a question.”

 

Another kiss. “What is it?”

 

A kiss. “Are we dating?”

 

“Oh.” Komaeda doesn’t return the kiss anymore, abruptly pulling away. And ‘horrified’ doesn’t even quite cover the sensation that Hinata felt because of that. “Ah… I'm so sorry.”

 

“No, it’s okay…” Hinata did say that he’d stay whether they date or not, so he wonders why he's actually feeling hurt right now. “I'm sorry too. I didn’t want to force you into anything.”

 

“…What?”

 

“Um… sorry. Is it too late to say that? Did I already make you feel compelled to do something? I'm really sorry. I hope you know that that’s never my intention.”

 

“Oh…” Komaeda blinks before a small smile finds its way to his face. “…Hinata-kun really wants to date me.”

 

“Yes. I already said so, right? I really do. But don’t ever let me make you feel that you have to go out with me just because of that. Your comfort is what matters to me.”

 

Komaeda nods, still with a smile. “I'm sorry… How do I explain this…”

 

“…It’s okay. You don’t have to explain anything.”

 

“No, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda inches closer again and takes Hinata’s hands with his. “I'm sorry. I thought you didn’t want to date me.”

 

“Huh? When did I ever give off that vibe?”

 

“Haha, well…” Komaeda sheepishly chuckles. “I really thought we were dating ever since you stayed after… that night. Y-You know. But when you asked earlier if we were, I thought that maybe I just went ahead of myself all along! I understand things better now though because of your words. Thank you, Hinata-kun.”

 

“Oh.” All Hinata could do was blink as realization passes through his head. “So we were dating all along… It’s just that you said you weren’t ready, so… I didn’t want to rush you or anything.”

 

“…Was it really too fast? I assure you that I'm not using you as a replacement for anyone, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda tightens his hold on Hinata’s hands. “When you stayed after that night… that was when I realized that I really could wholeheartedly trust you. Even after you’ve already… used me, even if I was already used by someone else, you still want to be with me. And I think that says a lot.”

 

“Stop talking about yourself that way.” Hinata pulls away one of his hands from Komaeda’s hold and transfers it to his cheek. “It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve slept with anyone or with how many people. Your value doesn’t decrease because of something like that.”

 

“Thank you.” Komaeda giggles. “I’ll try to keep that in mind, Hinata-kun.”

 

\--

 

“Hey, what was that?” Hinata immediately covers his face.

 

“Too late!” Komaeda giggles as he looks at the photo that he captured in his phone. “I just realized I still don’t have a picture of Hinata-kun in my phone. He used to take a lot of my pictures—I don’t know what he does with them now though—and I used to take a lot of his photos too… which I all deleted now, of course. Now I want to take photos of Hinata-kun because he's much more deserving of occupying my phone’s memory.”

 

“Let’s just take photos of two of us together. That’s better, right?”

 

“Oh, that’s true! What a great idea, Hinata-kun!” Komaeda’s smile was so contagious. Hinata can’t resist putting on a smile of his own. “Here goes. One, two—”

 

\--

 

“Those anime keychains from the mall earlier are cute.” Komaeda giggles as they walk. “I wish I could have a miniature Hinata-kun too.”

 

“I’d like a miniature Komaeda too.”

 

“Hehe, but anyway, it’s not like I really do need one! We’ll always be together anyway.” Komaeda playfully bumps his side. “And I’ll always be here for you.”

 

Hinata bumps him back, smiling. “I’ll always be here for you too.”

 

\--

 

“You two don’t look good together.”

 

Hinata only realizes that whoever’s talking to him _indeed_ was talking to him when he sees that there's no one else near the two of them. He furrows his eyebrows and sees a stranger—kind of familiar, now that Hinata thinks more hardly about it, they probably share a couple of classes together—but that really still doesn’t help the confusion that he felt.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“It’s probably not my position to say. Though I just can’t help myself since you're here and I'm here, so I might as well.” The stranger continues speaking. “You heard me right. You two don’t look together.”

 

“You're talking about… Komaeda and me?”

 

“Yes. The kid who went to the bathroom just now, right? He's too pretty for you. You're too plain for him. Other people think you drugged him with a love potion or something.”

 

“Wow, well, how about you fuck off?”

 

“You're lucky I was the one who talked to you. The others won’t be too nice about this.” The person had the audacity to sigh. Hinata wants nothing more than to punch him in the face. “You're just pulling him down. He could be hanging out with better people, yet you're binding him to yourself—”

 

Hinata tried.

 

Hinata really tried.

 

But he really couldn’t stop himself from lifting a fist and hitting that person on the mouth. Suddenly, people were pulling the two of them away from each other, and he was doing everything he could to get away and land another punch, at least.

 

He only calms down when Komaeda comes back, looking both alarmed and worried. He really didn’t know that he had it in him. Souda always tells him that he's grouchy and other similar things, but he has never really been the type to get violent.

 

He wonders if it might be because deep down, he was also thinking of those things.

 

\--

 

“Hinata-kun, I'm sorry for asking repeatedly, but… you really don’t want to talk about what happened?”

 

“…Yeah.” Hinata leans his head against Komaeda’s shoulder. “Just be here. That’s comforting enough.”

 

“I just can’t help but think that he told you something really bad. You're not really the type to get that angry.”

 

“He didn’t… really say anything wrong. Don’t worry about it.”

 

“Do you want to rest your head on my lap?”

 

Hinata shifts in his position and cups Komaeda’s cheeks instead, kissing him. He feels Komaeda’s surprise, but the latter immediately returns the kiss once he composes himself.

 

Hinata must have come off as desperate that time, but he appreciates that Komaeda didn’t say anything about it.

 

\--

 

“I can’t believe that you're letting a random guy that you don’t even know get in your head.” Souda scratches the back of his head as he speaks. “Seriously, he's just an asshole that doesn’t even matter. I can’t believe that I'm sounding smarter than you right now.”

 

“You can’t look at everything like that. You gotta understand that even if he's just some guy who ‘doesn’t matter’, he was right about some things.”

 

“What the—where exactly was he right? The love potion thing? Did you really drug Komaeda?”

 

“No!”

 

“That’s how ridiculous everything he said sounded to me!”

 

“Look. Look at me. Look at Komaeda.” Hinata furrows his eyebrows. “I can’t believe I have to explain this… The guy was right. I'm too plain. He's too pretty. I'm nothing compared to him. It’d be nice if he's off with someone better.”

 

“Just fucking stop with that thought, dude. Don’t even try to continue.”

 

“People are probably feeling sorry for him, thinking that he shouldn’t be with a guy like me—”

 

“Dude, bro, friend, Hinata, whatever else I can call you—stop! You're being so stupid right now!”

 

“…Yeah. I guess so. Sorry.”

 

“Why don’t you talk to Komaeda about this so that he could knock some sense into your head?”

 

“I’ll try.”

 

\--

 

“Oh, haha. He was right. We really don’t look good together.” Time stopped for Hinata when he heard Komaeda’s voice saying that. “I'm too good for you. Someone like you won’t be able to compare to me no matter how hard you try.”

 

Komaeda turns to him and smiles just like he always does. That smile will usually make Hinata feel warm inside, but now, the only thing that he's feeling is never ending coldness within his chest. Hearing it from a stranger and knowing it was right was already painful, and despite knowing that it was true, Hinata never expected that he’d hear it from Komaeda too.

 

“The best thing that you'll ever be is a stepping stone for everyone else. You should be honored to serve people far greater than you though!” Komaeda giggles. That giggle that used to make Hinata smile just feels like poison right now. “I mean, think about it—an average, talentless human can be put to good use for those who are known as mankind’s hope! Such an honorable place to be… so honorable I'm actually jealous.”

 

“…Stop.”

 

“What? You're trying to silence me now?” Komaeda tilts his head. “What happened to loving me? I thought you enjoyed listening to my voice! I guess you're a liar too like him, huh? I shouldn’t have expected anything from you.”

 

“No, it’s not that—”

 

“I'm so disappointed… but no matter. You're just insignificant anyway. I never really loved you either. I just needed someone who'll replace him because I was lonely, but I'm okay now. I don’t need anyone anymore, and you know what that means, right? It’s terribly obvious by now, but since you're inept, I’ll spell it out for you. I don’t need you anymore, Hinata-kun.”

 

“…No.”

 

“Is that all you could say?”

 

“No. No. I love you.”

 

“Bye, Hinata-kun. It’s been nice playing with you.”

 

\--

 

“Hinata-kun, Hinata-kun,” Hinata wakes up to Komaeda shaking his body, a worried look on his eyes. He blinks when they make eye contact, and he lets out a relieved sigh afterwards. “Hinata-kun… finally, you're awake. I was so worried about you. You were having a bad dream.”

 

Hinata doesn’t know if he’ll be able to compose himself and say anything of importance right now, so he immediately sits up and gives Komaeda the firmest kiss that he has given him so far. Komaeda doesn’t respond right away—probably taken aback with the sudden action.

 

Hinata doesn’t understand himself, why he was crying by the time he pulls away. Komaeda looked even more worried then—this is his fault, if only he could compose himself better, Komaeda wouldn’t need to worry about him—and he seemed like he doesn’t know what to do.

 

“…I love you.” Hinata finally says. Despite being together for more than a year now, he never really told Komaeda these words. “I love you so much. I don’t think I'm good enough for you.”

 

“Hinata-kun…” Komaeda was gently wiping Hinata’s tears with his hands. His skin was so soft, Hinata wants to cling to the feeling forever. “Hinata-kun, I love you too, but is there anything wrong? Why would you think something like that?”

 

“I'm sorry.” Hinata leans his forehead on Komaeda’s shoulder, embracing the other as tightly as he could. If the tightness of his hold was already painful, Komaeda didn’t say anything about it. “…I'm sorry for worrying you.”

 

“You shouldn’t think about that now...” Komaeda lightly rubs Hinata’s back. The feeling of his gentle fingers on Hinata’s bare skin—if only Hinata could relish it forever, he’d like it. “…Hinata-kun, what's wrong?”

 

“I'm not good enough for you.”

 

“As I said, why would you think that? You're more than enough, Hinata-kun. If anything… I'm the one who isn’t good enough.”

 

“ _You're_ the one who's more than enough.”

 

“Let’s not argue about this…” Komaeda pulls him closer. “I told you, right, Hinata-kun? What is essential is invisible to the eye. Your kindness is extraordinary. I have never ever met someone who is as kind and sincere as you.”

 

“But what if you meet someone kinder than me? Someone who treats you well too… someone sincere… but better than me. Someone talented, someone good-looking, someone smart… You deserve the best, and we both know I'm not that.”

 

“I have established ties with you. You're special to me, Hinata-kun. You're not just someone I can toss around and replace.” Komaeda sounds so worried. Hinata’s starting to feel guilty. “For me, you are the best. I don’t need whoever you described just now.”

 

“I'm sorry… I know I shouldn’t be saying things like this, but,” Hinata slightly pulls away to lean his forehead against Komaeda’s. Komaeda’s eyes looked as worried as Hinata imagined them to be. He can feel that the right choice is to stop, but he can’t bring himself to. “…Won’t it be better if you just find someone greater?”

 

“…Do you hear yourself? Are you seriously saying this?”

 

“You know that I love you, right?”

 

“Yes… and I love you too. Hinata-kun—”

 

“Whatever happens, I’ll always love you. I promise you that.”

 

“I’ll always love you too…”

 

“I'm sorry for waking you up.” Hinata gently pushes Komaeda back so that he’d be lying on the bed with Hinata slightly atop him. “Do you want to go back to sleep?”

 

“Not right away.” Komaeda wraps his arms around Hinata’s neck. “Let me show you how much I love you. Please.”

 

“I never doubted you, but alright.” Hinata kisses him. “I want to show you how much I love you too.”

 

That night might be the warmest that Hinata has had in a long time.

 

\--

 

He gives Komaeda a kiss as he clothes himself and leaves.

 

“I'm sorry. I love you.”

 

\--

 

_Yeah, I've been here all my life. Maybe someday I’ll leave and find another place in this country. I’ve always been getting ready for that. I can leave anytime I wish, though I’ll probably have a difficult time adjusting._


End file.
